


Please say my name

by MyCatIsMyEditor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angry Lena Luthor, Angst, F/F, Sad Kara Danvers, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyCatIsMyEditor/pseuds/MyCatIsMyEditor
Summary: Kara just wants Lena to say her name again, and there's only one way she can do it.Trigger warnings:questionable consent, unhealthy coping mechanisms, toxic relationships, no happy ending, borderline emotional and physical abuse.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 29
Kudos: 281





	Please say my name

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored on shift and wrote this to keep myself entertained. Thought y'all might like it.

Kara didn’t know why she kept doing this. She didn’t want to understand it. Kelly would probably tell her something about guilt and self harm, or a need to be close to someone who was so important to her. Either way she kept doing it. Even though it hurt, even though she knew it wasn’t really helping. But she needed it now. She needed to hear her name.

She landed on the balcony and walked in. The door was never locked. Lena was in the lounge room pouring herself a glass of wine. She always seemed to have alcohol with her these days. If it wasn’t wine it was a glass of scotch or whiskey. Once it was vodka. Kara didn’t want to think about what the alcohol meant. Lena put down the bottle and glared at her.

“Supergirl,” she said by way of greeting. 

Kara took a deep breath. This part was always the hardest. No matter how many times she’d done it. She was always terrified that she would be rejected, that this time Lena would decide she’d had enough. That she didn’t want anything to do with her anymore. That humiliating her wasn’t fun anymore. That there wasn’t anything she could do to make her say it.

Kara removed her clothes letting them fall piece by piece to the carpet as Lena silently watched. She tied her hair up and slowly sank to her knees, then all fours. She kept her eyes on the floor and waited.

Lena always takes some her time deciding. She made Kara wait for exactly thirty minutes once. Kara knew because she had been counting the seconds waiting either for dismissal or acknowledgment.

She counted the seconds now, wondering how long she would make her wait tonight. Would it be quick, or would Lena keep her there until her arms ached and her desperate tears soaked the perfect white carpet beneath her.

_87 seconds._

She must have had a rough day. Kara heard the soft clink of Lena setting down her wineglass. Then the rustle of fabric as she got up and walked towards the bedroom. Kara crawled after her. 

The first time had been brutal. Kara had turned up wanting to talk but Lena refused to even acknowledge her. No matter how Kara had pleaded Lena had turned her head away and closed her eyes refusing to look at her until she had begged asking what she could do just to have Lena look at her again. She had said she would do anything. And so Lena had made her promise, _anything_. Lena had told her she could strip naked and get on all fours. The instruction had shocked her at first as she stared at Lena. Sure she had misheard but Lena repeated it. So she had, and Lena had opened her eyes. She had looked at her.

“Just how far will you go for me to keep looking at you? To call you by that name?” she’d asked. 

“I would let you do anything to me,” Kara had promised.

Lena had smirked then and grabbed her roughly by the hair dragging her into the bedroom and shoving her against the bed.

“Anything I want to you? What if I wanted to turn you into a toy? What if I wanted to shove your head down into the bed and fuck you until you scream my name? Would you let me do that?”

Kara had been shocked and terrified as she looked into the face of the woman who had once been her best friend and saw only anger there. All the rage and hatred twisting inside her. She had just wanted it to go away. She didn’t care what Lena did to her. She had just wanted her to stop hating her for just one second. And so she had agreed.

Lena had stopped hating her for a second then, the surprise overtaking everything else. Then she had laughed and Kara had been scared.

“We’ll see if you really mean it Supergirl.”

And she had. Kara had laid on the bed her legs spread and let Lena fuck her with the biggest dildo she’d ever seen. She’d let her shove it down her throat and then inside her cunt her fingers twisting in the blanket as Lena fucked her roughly. There had been no care in her movements. Lena had wanted to hurt her. She’d wanted to humiliate her.

Kara’s orgasm one minute later had been a surprise to them both as she’d screamed Lena’s name as the blanket ripped in her hands. Afterwards she’d slowly sunk to the floor sobbing in shame and terror while her body shivered with aftershocks. She’d looked up and seen Lena’s face. Seen the pain, and the desire. She could hear Lena’s pounding heartbeat and see the tremor in her hand as she dropped the toy.

Then she had dragged Kara to her feet and kissed her. And Kara kissed her back. It had been one of the best and worst moments of her life as the moment she had dreamed of came true, because her friend hated her. Because she’d wanted to hurt her. Kara hadn’t cared as she tore Lena’s clothes off. Shredding them in her eagerness to get her naked as she carried her onto the bed putting her down with as much care as she could. 

Lena had been breathing heavily as she broke the kiss and grabbed Kara’s hair reminding her that she was the one in charge. Kara had barely had a moment to process the look on Lena’s face before her head was shoved between Lena’s legs and Lena told her what to do. 

Kara had flown home that night feeling numb and then she had sobbed for hours alone in her bed as she remembered the moment Lena had finally said her name. Lena’s thighs wrapped around her head and her hands in her hair as she came screaming it. For one brief moment she had thought things might be alright between them as she looked up and smiled at Lena as she lay panting in the bed. Lena hadn’t returned the smile, instead she’d ordered her to leave. When Kara didn’t immediately move she’d kicked her away telling her to go.

Lena stopped at the edge of the bed and Kara waited. She was already wet and she knew Lena could probably smell it. She could smell Lena. She could hear the slickness between her legs as she walked and now it was so close she could almost taste it. She kept her head down. Lena removed her underwear and shoes tossing them away as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Kara crawled until she was right in front of her a silent request. 

“What do you want?” Lena asked.

Her voice sounded strangely loud in the quiet apartment.

“I want you to say my name,” Kara whispered.

“Supergirl,” Lena said.

She said it with venom. Every bit of that Luthor spite dripped from that word.

“My real name,” Kara whispered.

“That is your real name,” Lena said.

She uncrossed her legs and Kara shivered. If she looked up at that moment she would be able to see what was under her skirt. She’d be able to see how wet Lena was. She swallowed. There was a set of rules she had to follow. They’d been set out over her previous visits, enforced with silent reward and punishment. 

“My name is Kara. Please call me Kara.”

“Why should I?” Lena asked.

Kara could feel the tears already at the corners of her eyes.

“Because I will let you do anything to me.”

“Anything?”

She nodded quickly.

“Yes, anything.”

Lena must have been expecting her because it’s already within reach. She drops the harness in front of her. The toy is already fitted.

“Put it on.”

Kara does so her hands shaking as she adjusts the straps and checks it’s all secure. Then she waits. Lena reaches out and two fingers slide under the material and inside her. Kara gasps as Lena slowly fucks her with those two fingers curling them forwards. For a moment giving Kara exactly what she wants.

“You’re wet,” Lena says removing her fingers.

Kara nods not trusting herself to speak.

“What were you thinking about?”

“You,” she whispers.

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

The tears come now slowly rolling down her face as she can feel Lena watching her. She waits not bothering to hide anything. There’s no point. Lena knows now anyway. She already knows everything.

“Get on the bed, lie on your back.”

Kara does so her hands resting at her sides as she looks up at the blank ceiling. She listens as Lena gets up. She can feel the dip of the mattress as she comes closer, then the warmth of her skin as she straddles her. Lena moans softly as she slowly lowers herself down the full length of the toy. Kara grips the blankets harder not daring to look. 

She gasps as she feels the warmth of Lena’s mouth on her nipple sucking and biting. She’s not gentle. Were Kara human they’d probably be a bloody mess within minutes as Lena’s hand twists the other one pinching it roughly until Kara starts to beg for more. Lena shifts and then she’s kissing Kara. Kara kisses her back trying her best to keep Lena there for as long as possible while her hands twist in the blankets. She’s not allowed to touch. 

Just as quickly as the kiss started it stops. Kara tries to stay still, she tries not to roll her hips upwards but she can’t quite help herself as she feels Lena moving on top of her. She can’t help it anymore, she looks. 

Lena’s skirt is bunched around her waist just high enough that Kara can see the toy disappearing under it but not what’s underneath. She looks up and wants to cry as she sees Lena has left everything else on. She wasn’t planning to give her anything tonight. She can’t take it, not again. She wants to see her. She wants to see Lena. 

Kara starts thrusting up harder trying to slow the pace. Lena opens her eyes and Kara looks back breathless as Lena deliberately moves faster. She can see Lena getting closer and she’s not letting Kara help. 

“Please,” she whispers. 

“Is there something you want Supergirl?”

“I want you naked. Please Lena let me help you come,” she begs.

Lena slows and her hands return to Kara’s nipples twisting them roughly as Kara moans.

“What will you give me?”

“Anything!”

“I already have that. Give me something else. Tell me a secret.”

Kara tries to think but Lena’s mouth is on her nipples again and she can feel her hips moving as she continues to fuck herself. She’s punishing her for something. _But what?_ Lena knows Kara won’t come like this. She’s going to take a quick orgasm and throw her out again leaving her cold and hurting.

“I’m waiting Supergirl.”

_She’s already breathless. Not a good sign. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

“What kind of secret?” Kara asks.

“Something you haven’t told me,” Lena moans.

Kara cast her mind about trying to think of something — _anything_ — she could trade. Lena stops teasing her nipples and goes back to riding the strap properly. 

Kara looks and can see Lena has her hand under the skirt touching her clit. She knows she has maybe thirty seconds before Lena comes and it’s not going to be enough. It’s too soon. She won’t come hard enough to say her name and she can’t go without her saying it. She needs to hear her say her name. She needs something she can use. 

Lena moans her hand moving faster as her head falls back her movements becoming jerkier. Kara grasps at the first thing that comes to mind as panic starts to set in.

“Your dick is bigger than Mon El’s!”

Lena stops and and Kara covers her eyes with her hand as a blush erupts all over her face. _Fuck. The was the dumbest-_

Kara doesn’t recognise the sound for a moment. She removes her hand and looks at Lena shocked. Lena is on top of her, still on the toy one hand under her skirt and the other on Kara’s tits and she’s… laughing. Then Kara is too. She can’t believe she said it. But still it seemed to work.

“That was what you came up with? I’m this close to coming and you say that?” Lena asks throwing up her hands.

“Shut up! I panicked.”

Lena rolls off her still laughing. Kara raised her middle finger waving it in Lena’s general direction as the blush gets worse. 

“I knew you weren’t going to come hard enough to say my name if I didn’t get you to take your hand away and- Stop laughing!”

Lena shook her head as Kara muttered a curse. Lena rolls back and then she’s kissing Kara and suddenly Kara doesn’t care how dumb it sounded because this kiss isn’t rough or cold. It was warm and sweet and she can feel Lena still smiling. She kisses her back her hands coming up to touch Lena’s face. For one moment things are good. She’s kissing Lena and they feel whole again.

Then Lena stops kissing her, and the laughter has died. Kara opens her eyes and she can see the pain is back. Lena gets up and Kara feels her heart break a little as Lena gets off the bed. Kara sits up one hand reaching out, to do what she doesn’t know, but then Lena is stripping off her shirt tossing it aside. Then the skirt falls down her legs and is kicked to another corner. Finally her bra disappearing to a third unknown corner of the bedroom. Kara waits her hand still outstretched.

Lena turns around letting Kara look at her. Kara waits as Lena stands there for a moment not doing anything. Then she turns away and pulls something out of her bedside drawer. Kara’s hand drops back to the bed. It’s another toy. Kara hears the mechanical whir as Lena turns it on and looks back at the bed. Kara waits hearing the noise increase.

“Lie down,” Lena orders. 

Kara does so immediately. She’s scared again. Scared it’s going to be over. Scared Lena will never say her name again. She feels Lena approach but doesn’t look. Looking would be bad. Then she feels Lena loosen the harness and she’s afraid she’ll take it off and tell her to leave. But instead the buzzing toy is positioned between her legs. 

She moans as it finds the right spot. Lena removes her hand and a second later the harness is tightened again the toy now trapped underneath. Kara can feel it trapped against her clit and it’s too much.

Her hands scrabble against the suddenly smooth blankets trying not to touch. It’s too strong, she won’t come it’s set too high and she’s too sensitive. She doesn’t know how Lena got one this powerful but it’s driving Kara insane.

Lena mounts her once again moaning as she does so. Kara looks. Her eyes are now fixed to Lena’s perfect breasts as they move above her. She wants to kiss them. She wants to lick and suck and tease until she can’t take anymore. She wants to spend hours with her face buried there showing Lena how much she loves her. Lena leans down until she’s looking directly into Kara’s eyes. Kara forces her eyes up to meet that angry gaze. Lena gently strokes her cheek. Kara feels the tears again. 

“Fuck me Supergirl.”

Kara nods the blankets twisted in her hands as she thrusts up. Lena’s hands went to her nipples teasing them as Kara fucks her. Kara moaned watching Lena’s fingers pinch and roll what she wanted in her mouth. She’s begging again but Lena ignores her. Kara continued thrusting upwards getting faster with every stroke. Every time she does the vibrator pressed harder against her clit increasing the intensity until she could feel her orgasm building. It was too much, it hurts.

Kara twisted swapping their position and pinning Lena to the bed under her. Lena was panting as she wrapped her legs around Kara thrusting up against her. Kara gripped Lena’s hips then thought better of it. Lena put her arms around Kara pulling her closer then kissing her. Kara needed something to hold onto. Lena moaned her eyes closing as her nails digging into Kara’s shoulders. 

Everything felt so intense she could feel the blankets ripping in her hands as she continued to fuck Lena faster and faster. She silently prays she’s not about to destroy the mattress too as Lena started scratching at her back.

“Yes, fuck me! Harder!”

Kara could feel the tears again as she heard the telling shift in Lena's breathng right before she came. She just needs to hear her name. 

“Kara!”

Her orgasm hit and Kara screamed slamming her hands into the only thing that wouldn’t break, herself. Her whole body jerked and it felt so good she never wanted it to stop as she hung suspended for a minute in pure ecstasy. Nothing else felt this good. Only fucking Lena got her off this hard. Only Lena could ever feel this good. And then she came crashing back down. 

She collapsed onto Lena the toy now a horrific torture but she couldn’t make herself move to shift it. Lena shoved a hand between them pulling the toy out and silencing it with a click.

Kara sobbed into Lena’s shoulder as the aftershocks rippled through her body. Lena was holding her tightly her arms and legs still holding Kara’s shaking body close as the sweat cooled on their skin.

They slowly come back down as the sounds of the empty apartment creep over them.

Lena’s legs dropped away then her arms. She pushed and Kara rolled off her. They lay on the bed panting together. Nothing else would be said. Kara finally sat up and looked over at Lena. She had her eyes closed again. Kara got up removing the toys and placing them neatly on the bedside table. She walked to the door and looked back to see Lena watching her. She was still angry and hurt, but the hatred wasn’t there in her eyes. It would come back, but for now they were just Kara and Lena. 

Lena lifted her chin a little. A silent command. Kara turned and collected her things dressing again ignoring the pain. She stepped onto the balcony and took off. Arriving home minutes later she stripped off and crawled into her cold bed alone once more. But now she can smell Lena. She can smell her and across the city if she focuses she can hear Lena’s heartbeat as she goes to sleep. 

Kara pulls the blanket over herself curling into a ball. Breathing in Lena’s scent she drifts off listening to the steady beat of Lena’s heart. She knows it’s wrong. She shouldn’t go back again. She shouldn’t keep torturing herself. But she will, until Lena forgives her. However long that takes.


End file.
